Turning Pain into Gratitude with a Shift in Perspective and Subconscious Identity.

Several weeks back, I had been experiencing some personal trials in life that had me feeling a little hopeless and dare I even say… victimized (gasp!). The truth is this is a normal human moment in a world that often reflects the fallacy that victimhood brings some sort of significance.

Don’t believe me? Turn on the news… no really, see who is glorified there and the titles they use for people who have “bad things” happen to them. Victim. Now, I will be the last person to victim blame, but what I will do is shed light on another perspective that better serves us.

That victimhood is a choice and it doesn’t actually serve us nor does it give us true significance. Here’s what it actually does: it blocks us from being willing to see the truth: that we are always getting what we signed up for with the unconscious commitments we make and the vibration we choose to be in.

What does that even mean?

“Victim” is an identity, which is a choice made that has subconscious implications. If we choose to identify as a “victim”, we unconsciously seek out other ways in which we can be who we declare that we ARE- a victim.

Let’s take a peek at the way your mind operates to achieve this. Your unconscious mind will not make a liar out of you, it is always tasked with looking for evidence that you are right, and it does so with your chosen identities. So if we buy into the idea that society can glorify at times, that being a victim gets you attention, a dopamine rush, or some other sort of significance, you will unconsciously prove it to be correct by vibrating and attracting things that victims experience. You quite literally will then victimize yourself. Crazy, I know.

So the bad news is that this is true. What you identify as becomes your reality. And the even better news is that…. THIS IS TRUE!!

If that is true, that means the chosen identity of strong, resilient, liberator, healer… are also TRUE. And when you get down to the level of your unconscious mind and show yourself the ways in which you are the positive identities that get positive life results, you will move heaven and Earth to PROVE yourself right! Again, you will not make a liar of yourself, you will unconsciously seek out evidence that shows you you’re always right. Life happens according to our conscious and unconscious (often outside your awareness) beliefs.

Now back to the experience that showed me, yet again, first-hand how this illusion of

victimhood can be dispelled with the emotion of simple gratitude.

Here is the social media post where I shared what happened:

The past ten days have been a roller coaster of emotions, so I asked for guidance.

Yesterday, spirit whispered… Share joy.

My mind immediately knew where we were headed. The senior center.

I shared purple tulips and asked about the residents lives.

I sat next to a woman who loves to color. Kathy. She said someone prints out her coloring pages without her ever even asking, what thoughtfulness, she exclaimed! She had a lot to say about leaving the comfort of her room, dressing nice, and being in the great hall to feel good each day. She told me her mother was a waitress all of her life and brought home a TON of money each day. So much change there was change everywhere each night she’d return from waitressing.

She shared her humble gratitude.

I met a man named Jerry. He got Covid in Arkansas and woke up in an Utah nursing home, near extended family. Someone struck a piano cord and Jerry confidently burst into song, shocking everyone in the room. He was clearly professionally trained. He told us about his successful career as a musician in bars. He traveled many places and he really did it, people knew his name! He pulled out his wallet and showed me a picture of a much younger him standing next to a stunning young woman. His excitedness hushed and he no longer could form words. This was his most significant story of the day. What there were no words for. His beloved wife.

He shared what life is all about.

There was a woman named Marilynn. She introduced herself saying, “it’s Marilynn like Marilynn Monroe!” She didn’t have too much else to share, besides a wink and a smile, Queens don’t seek to impress. They’re just too assured for that type of behavior. She wore red lip stain, her hair was in tight curls, and her clothes were pressed.

She shared that grace doesn’t expire.

A silent man sat in the corner. When I asked his name, Kathy said he doesn’t speak, not since the stroke. I showed the group a picture of my puppies, Smokey and Bandit. The man took a long look and he began to weep.

He shared that some love never leaves us.

I was led there to share joy, little could I have expected the gold I’d receive in return.

The rescuer rescued.

How is that the case when it comes to things outside our control? Allow me to explain.

Sure, in a reality where we all have sovereign choice, others may on occasion choose to use that choice to spread fear and pain instead of love and healing. This is true. However, those things can only enter your reality if you engage with them or vibrate at the level that those things exist within. We came here to this Earth school to not just experience joy and triumph, but also pain and sorrow. And in fact, some of our greatest teachers are pain and sorrow.

If I had stayed in victim mode, I’d have blocked the very voice and gift that this entire experience (including the pain) was designed to serve me with. You are seen, heard, and loved. See what was designed for you? These moments can be painful dear one, but do your best and don’t turn away. Look closer, and you will see what’s really there amidst the pain.

Bypassing will only get you the same lesson on repeat like a super marios brothers level you never pass. Facing it means you only face that pain once and then you’ll unlock higher lessons to higher levels. In each new level, we are given the tools needed to overcome and conquer with faith and believing.

When we lean into what’s really there- that we are always being gifted our greatest opportunities for liberation, elevation, and expansion, then we can notice when these opportunities come up. This is a skill that is sharpened through willingness and an open heart. I can promise you that if you slow down in these moments and look for the gold, you will always find it.

Be willing to do things differently. Choose your words and identities wisely, this is your cosmic playground, what do you choose to create?